Homemade Goldfish Crackers

October 25, 2012

I’m just gonna put it out there.  I’m awkward with kids.  I mean, I’m probably not as awkward as I think I am, but in my head, no one can be more awkward.  So when I was invited to a 2 year old’s birthday party, I had a slight panic attack.  Do I shake the kid’s hand?! (No, said my sister).  Do I bring a present?! (Of course, said my mom).  Do I just hand the gift to the kid when I get there?! (Do you know how little a 2 year old’s hands are, said my dad).  So I prepped and rehearsed and was semi ready.  But I also knew that I would have to do something that would impress the adults a bit more, because my interaction with the children just wasn’t going to cut it.

So I decided to make homemade goldfish crackers!  What could be better – a nostalgic, kid-friendly treat that’s made at home!  The other guests would be so impressed!  I had it in the bag.  And that’s when there was a fire in my oven.  I can’t tell you how it happened, but all I know was all of a sudden, there was so much smoke in my apartment that I couldn’t even find the oven door.  My little gold fishies ended up looking like this:

Not impressive.  The one batch that did survive was delicious.  Like little fish-shaped cheese pastries.  But I didn’t have enough to take to the party.  When the smoke cleared and the fire department left, I had no choice but to buy a baked good item in shame and take myself over to the party.  Turns out that kids are not that hard to please.  Laugh at them and they laugh back.  Make a funny face and you’re in.  The adults on the other hand, I owe them some homemade goldfish crackers.

Homemade Goldfish Crackers (slightly adapted from Smitten Kitchen)

Want to make other homemade nostalgic treats?  You have so many options!  How about some oreos?  Or graham crackers?  Soft pretzels?  Or my personal favorite – samoas!

1 1/2 cups shredded orange sharp cheddar
4 tablespoons butter, cold is fine, cut into cubes
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/8 tsp. salt

Combine all ingredients in a food processor, running the machine until the dough forms a ball, about two minutes.  You can also do this by hand, like I did, if your food processor has temporarily decided to shut down, by cutting in the butter with a fork and kneading the dough until it comes together.

Chill the dough in the fridge for 30 to 45 minutes.

Preheat oven to 350.

On a lightly floured surface, using a lightly floured rolling pin, roll the dough out 1/8-inch thick. Cut out shapes with cookie cutter, dipped in flour.  If you’re making goldfish, take a skewer and poke out an “eye” (this sounds violent – it’s really not), and with a toothpick, carve out a little smile.  Transfer to a parchment paper lined baking sheet.   Hope for no fires, and bake for 12 minutes, or until they are ever-so-slightly browned on the edges.  Transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.

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3 Responses to “Homemade Goldfish Crackers”


  1. […] « Homemade Goldfish Crackers […]


  2. […] doing this.  You know, finding recipes for store-bought delicious things and trying to make them at home.  It’s always so fun and satisfying and always so delicious!  But not in the same way. […]


  3. […] here we are, with another attempt of making store-bought treats homemade.  I’m not going to lie – these don’t take exactly like those […]


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